Commentary:
"Looks like Miss Piggy's love life is stuck in a bit of a pigsty 🐷💔 Kermitment issues aside, let's hope she finds someone worthy of her bacon! 🥓💕 #SingleSwineSeekingLove"
57 Funny commitment quotes
My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.
Commentary:
"Who needs commitment when you have a giant jar of Nutella waiting for you? 🍫😂 Love that never runs out (unless you finish the jar in one sitting)! #NutellaIsBae"
Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.
Commentary:
🤭 Whoops, that moment when your casual agreement turns into a surprise mission impossible! Just like saying "sure, I'll just climb Mount Everest in my lunch break, no problem" and then reality hits like a ton of bricks! 🏔️😅 #UnderestimatedMyself
“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.
Commentary:
"Oh, Destiny better watch out because Consequences seems like the serious type! 👀💔 Let's hope they don't end up in a messy love triangle with Regret 😅💔 #RelationshipDrama"
Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.
Commentary:
"Who needs success when you can rock sweatpants and messy hair? 🤷♂️ Maybe it's time success started dressing up for us for a change! 💼👔 #RelationshipGoals"
Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of the modern dating world! 🤔 Who knew 'situationships' could be so complex? Are you playing the commitment dodgeball or rocking the low self-worth tango? Either way, it takes two to tango in the land of blurred lines! 💃🕺"
Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.
Commentary:
"Looks like some folks have found the perfect relationship – with their toilet 🚽😂 Who needs love when you have comfort and peace in the bathroom, am I right? 💔 #ToiletGoals"
Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.
Commentary:
"Five years strong in the art of procrastination and gym avoidance 🏋️♂️😂 Here's to another year of promising to start tomorrow! #fitnessgoals #gymlife"
I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.
Commentary:
"Don't worry about setting the table for me, I come pre-canceled! 🙅♂️🚫 Let's just cut to the chase and plan a rain check instead! ☔😄"
I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.
Commentary:
"Sorry, can't make it to our plans – apparently my transformation into a super organized, punctual being got lost in the mail 📬💁♀️ Maybe next week, when I'm a whole new me! 🤷♂️😆"