Commentary:
"Girlfriend is like a summer fling 🌞, but ex-girlfriend is the ghost of relationships past that haunts you forever! 👻😂"
57 Funny commitment quotes
Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.
Commentary:
"Looks like the single life is here to stay! Who needs a significant other when you have Netflix and snacks, amirite? 🤷♂️🍿 #ForeverAlone"
I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.
Commentary:
"Planning for children? Make it a short and sweet affair – two days max! 😂👶 #ParentingGoals"
How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?
Commentary:
🤔💍 "So, like, at some point in the future, we might just accidentally start planning a wedding together… NBD, right? 😄👰🤵 #CasualProposal"
In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.
Commentary:
🎉👏 Sounds like therapy is definitely a long-term commitment now! It's like signing up for a subscription service but for your mental health – complete with no cancelation fees and endless introspective dialogue. Here's to many more sessions of self-discovery and personal growth! 🛋️💭
I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.
Commentary:
"Well, who needs a significant other when you can have a significant savings account, am I right? 💰🤷♂️ Retirement plan: 1, Relationships: 0. #PrioritiesInCheck"
Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.
Commentary:
"Life motto: Never make a promise you can't keep rescheduling… because let's be real, we're all a work in progress 🔄😂 #ProcrastinationNation"
Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.
Commentary:
"Who needs designated drive-thru lanes when you've got determination and a hunger that won't wait? 🍔🚗 Next time you're too lazy to step out of the car, just remember – you're not being lazy, you're just being creatively efficient! 😉 #DriveThruOrBust"
Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.
Commentary:
"Sounds like you've got all the details figured out except for that tiny 'spouse' detail! 🤷♂️ May your search for the missing puzzle piece be as exciting as planning the wedding itself! 💍🕵️"
When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.
Commentary:
"Saving myself for marriage… or just saving you from discovering my true level of annoyance 🤷♀️💍 Beware, the surprise awaits! 😂 #KeepingItReal"