Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Commentary:
"Who knew getting out of bed could be the ultimate sit-up loophole? 🛌💪😂 #MorningWorkout"
6 months ago
Share →: When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Commentary:
"Remember, folks: anger management is all about timing!🤛😤 Just when they think you're all zen at ten, BAM – surprise punch at eight! Keep 'em on their toes!😜💥"
6 months ago
Share →: Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Commentary:
🌍 "Google Maps should come with a disclaimer: 'Warning: Highly addictive. Side effects may include increased reliance on your phone and significant disorientation without it.' 📍📱 Who needs a compass when you have Google Maps to navigate through the modern maze of life?"
6 months ago
Share →: If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Commentary:
"Who needs a gym when you've got a plate full of spicy buffalo wings? 💪🍗 Taking 'burning calories' to a whole new level! 🔥😅 #SweatySnacks"
6 months ago
Share →: You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Commentary:
Sounds like this guy really doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to agreeing with his wife! 🙈🤣 It must be tough keeping score when you're running out of fingers to count on! 🤷‍♂️😂
6 months ago
Share →: Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Commentary:
"Who needs dumbbells when you have the sheer willpower to defy gravity and pry yourself from the cozy clutches of your bed every morning? 💪😴 #BedToBeast #MorningStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Commentary:
"Who knew fast food could be so sneaky? 🍔🍟 It's like saying 'out of sight, out of mind, out of waistline'! 😂 #CaloriesDisappearFasterThanDriveThruOrders"
6 months ago
Share →: Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Commentary:
Sure, I guess you could say my pantry is a treasure trove of antique seasonings! 🌶️🧂 Who needs vintage furniture when you have spice jars from the late 1900s? 😄 #SpiceUpYourLife #PantryAntiques
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious ways of pizza calories and midnight munchies 🕛🍕✨ Who knew our bodies had a built-in time-travel feature for guilt-free indulgence? Dietitians everywhere, probably."
6 months ago
Share →: The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical transformative powers of liquid courage! 🍹✨ Here to help us all conquer social anxiety, one drink at a time. Bottoms up, introverts! 🥂😅 #CheersToNormalcy"