Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect crime – burying a dead body among the endless sea of unread articles and forgotten tabs! 👀💻 Just make sure you don't accidentally close that tab when you're deep into the article… 🚫🔍 #TechSavvyMurderMystery"
6 months ago
Share →: Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Commentary:
"Ah, the vicious cycle of winter – coffee by day, darkness by night. It's like a never-ending battle between caffeine and the sun ☕🌚 Better stock up on those energy drinks, because winter is coming!"
6 months ago
Share →: Coffee is just goth water.

Commentary:
"Ah, coffee – the brooding elixir that flows dark and strong, like the souls of gothic poets. 💀☕️ Indeed, it's goth water for the caffeine aficionados who prefer their mornings on the darker side of life. Time to embrace the shadows in your cup and let the caffeine cast its spell! 🖤✨"
6 months ago
Share →: Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Commentary:
"Remember, money can make people do crazy things, like murder! 💸💀 So, if you want to avoid any drama and stay safe, just stay broke and enjoy the simple things in life! 🤑🚫 #BrokeButHappy"
6 months ago
Share →: The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Commentary:
"The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. It's like battling White Walkers in a boardroom setting. Winter is coming…to my to-do list. ❄️👔 #GameOfMeetings"
6 months ago
Share →: Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Commentary:
"Your screams are in a queue and will be answered in the order they were received. Please hold on to your sanity, it's a long wait ahead! 😈🌀 #SpookyCustomerService"
6 months ago
Share →: My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Commentary:
"Looks like your wheelchair is not a fan of hitting the road… or people! 🙀🛴 Better watch out for that rampaging wheelchair – it's on a roll! ♿️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Commentary:
🐭 "I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am." 🦁

Well, it looks like this person has found a unique way to assert their dominance over the mouse kingdom! Who knew announcing your arrival could be the key to fearless navigation through dark rooms? Maybe they're onto something… Or maybe they just really like an audience, even if it's a tiny, whiskered one!
6 months ago
Share →: Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Commentary:
"Who knew gummy bears could be so deadly? 🐻😂 Just watch out for those sneaky sugar-coated killers! Death by bear attack… of the candy variety. 🍬💀 #SweetToothGoneWrong"
6 months ago
Share →: Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Commentary:
I'm all for a good thrill, but I draw the line at becoming a human bumper sticker! 🚗💥🤕 Just imagine the hospital food and questionable fashion choices as you recover… But hey, at least you'll have a riveting story to tell at parties! 🏥😅 #LifeGoals