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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Just landed via Facebook:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Live now on TikTok:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Reported on WeChat:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Going viral on Threads:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Trending via Slack:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Trending via Pinterest:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Spotted on Facebook:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Just shared via X:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Breaking via Twitch:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

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