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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Just shared via Threads:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Broadcasted on Discord:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Breaking via Discord:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Going viral on Messenger:

I am single, please disturb me!

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Funny doing well quotes

Funny doing well quotes bring a smile 😄 and a wink 😉 to those moments when you want to celebrate success without taking things too seriously. Whether you’re crushing goals or just surviving the day, these playful sayings add a dash of humor 🎉 and good vibes ✨ to your wins. Ready to laugh while doing well? Let’s dive into some hilarious gems that brighten any achievement! 🚀💬

New funny doing well quotes 👇

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

1 week ago

distraction, doing, doing well, email, humor, me, productivity, unexpected, well
You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

3 weeks ago

believe, communication, distraction, doing, doing well, email, found, going, i, me, surprise, well

All funny doing well quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Threads this month:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

36 shares on Slack this month:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Just shared via Threads:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Trending via WeChat:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Going viral on Slack:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Just landed via Messenger:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Live now on TikTok:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

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