85 Funny drinking quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a bar when you're serving up some top-shelf H2O, am I right? 💦😂 Stay hydrated, folks! #ThirstyThursday"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the circle of life: from rebels with a cause to friends with fur 😂🍺 Embrace the evolution of your park drinking partners – just don't forget to share the snacks with the squirrels! 🌳🐿️ #ForeverYoungAtHeart

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even birthday wishes can't get you out of a DUI! 🎉🚗 Remember, even birthday boys need to party responsibly! 🎂🎈"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

  Commentary:
  "Opting for light beers – the ultimate hydration experience! 💦 Who needs a gym membership when you can do bathroom sprints all day? 🏃‍♂️😂 Stay hydrated, folks!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: 20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

  Commentary:
  Ah, the evolution of life 🌞🕶️ From party animal to fridge detective, the journey is as wild as the night before 🍾🎉 Emojis: 🌞🕶️🍾🎉

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Coke Zero is playing the long game with its ambitious plan to rid the world of fizzy drinks by 2030 🥤🚫 Better stock up on your favorite sodas now before they disappear into the fizz-tory books! 😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

  Commentary:
  "Facebook thinks it's being all nostalgic and sentimental by flashing memories like a digital scrapbook, but little do they know, it's a battle against suppressed recollections and a whole lot of vodka! 🤦‍♂️🥃 #ErasingTheEvidence"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

  Commentary:
  "Two percent sounds suspiciously vague 🤔🥛 Who knows what mysteries lie in that remaining 98% – unicorns, aliens, the meaning of life? 🦄👽🤷‍♂️ Let's stick to the sure thing: no milk until we have all the facts! 🚫🥛 #MilkMystery"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a bedtime story when you have the magical cure-all for dehydration? 🚰💤 Just a parent's clever way of ensuring hydration levels stay afloat! Cheers to bedtime, the universal solution for everything! 🌙😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to maintain that sophisticated facade during Zoom meetings like a pro! 🥃💨☕️ Who knew a little bourbon blowing could make you seem so refined? Just remember, tea time or happy hour, it's all about appearances! 😂"

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