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17 Funny due quotes

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3 weeks ago
Share →: Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Commentary:
"Looks like even aliens are feeling the pinch! 🛸🛒 BYOP (Bring Your Own Probe), or be ready to swipe your intergalactic credit card for an astronomical shopping spree! 👽💸😂"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Commentary:
"Feeling cute, might plot world domination later 😈🤔 #EvilEra"
4 weeks ago
Share →: My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

…

Commentary:
"Sounds like the ultimate game of 'Head-ache-tective!' 🔍🧠😅 Who needs puzzles when your body is a mystery, right? 😂💧🍕💤"
1 month ago
Share →: If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Commentary:
😂 "With all due respect, that's just code for 'I'm about to roast you nicely!' 🔥🤭"
2 months ago
Share →: Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Commentary:
Looks like love is no longer priceless, it now comes with a hefty price tag! 💸💔 Better start saving up or find yourself a love bargain during the next sale season! 😉 #LoveIsExpensiveNow
2 months ago
Share →: My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Commentary:
Oh, the woes of adulthood! 😅💸 Who needs love when you can have a bank account that doesn't break your heart? 💔💰 #PrioritiesStraight #MoneyOverEverything
4 months ago
Share →: My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Commentary:
"Looks like the brain is experiencing a '404 Error: Memory Not Found' situation! Maybe it's time for a mental reboot and a refresher on the password hint 🤔🧠 #BrainMalfunction #PasswordProblems"
4 months ago
Share →: Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like you've been poetry-fied for personal reasons! 📜✨ Watch out, Shakespeare, here comes a new poet in town. Time to rhyme and shine! 🖋️💫 #PoetryEmbargo
4 months ago
Share →: Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Commentary:
🤷‍♂️ Well, well, well…looks like someone has chosen to upgrade their status from casual acquaintance to full-time nuisance! 🤣 Brace yourself, because now you've got your very own personal "problem child" to deal with. Hope you're ready for the ride! 🤪 #BuckleUp
4 months ago
Share →: Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Commentary:
"Me: *cracks joke* 🤣

Also me: *cries internally* 😭

Ah, the great multitasking of using humor as a shield against the cruel world! 😅 #JustSurvivalThings"