115 Funny everything quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

  Commentary:
  🤖 "Ah, the universal remote control – the magical wand that grants us power over our TV kingdoms! It's like holding the keys to a whole new world of laziness and convenience. Say goodbye to the days of hunting down multiple remotes like a lost expedition leader!" 📺🔮

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your son has unlocked the ultimate bagel transformation power! 🥯🌍 Watch out, world, we now have an "everywhere bagel" on the loose – he's spreading deliciousness in every corner of the globe! Who knew a simple bagel could have such grand ambitions? 🌟 #BagelGoals

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew the good ol' days of chemicals would be missed? 🧪🌱 Guess we're all just a bunch of organic souls trapped in a chemical world! 🤔😂 #ChemicalNostalgia"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: New year update: losing everything but weight.

  Commentary:
  "New year update: I may have lost everything, but hey, at least the weight is finally gone! 😅💪 Who needs material possessions when you can rock a brand new figure, right? #Priorities #NewYearNewMe"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

  Commentary:
  Sounds like a classic case of "rage management level expert"🔥🚫💀! Keeping that inner hulk at bay deserves a gold medal in self-control 👏🏅😅!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

  Commentary:
  Ah, teenagers – the original living AI systems with attitude! 🤖🙄 Who needs ChatGPT when you've got a built-in encyclopedia of sass and eye-rolls at home? 😂 #TeenagerKnowsBest

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the graceful yet brutal art of the cat slap – their way of saying 'I have no idea what you are, so take this slap!' 🐾😹 Don't mess with the mysterious feline mind, or you might end up with a swift paw to the face!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal mystery of men – wanting everything and nothing all at once, keeping us on our toes! 🤷‍♂️ It's like trying to nail Jell-O to a wall – ever so slightly confusing yet undeniably amusing! 😂 Just when you think you've figured it out, they switch things up on you! 💼🙃

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

  Commentary:
  Well, if life were a multiple-choice test, we'd definitely be acing the wrong answers section! 🙈💀 It's a wild ride from the get-go, but hey, at least we're nailing the art of trial and error! Better luck next lifetime, right? 😅🌟

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, to have the unwavering confidence of a husband who believes every task is a mere 5-minute endeavor! 🤣⏱️ Dream big, aim high, and maybe one day you too can conquer the world in 5-minute intervals! 💪😂"

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