Commentary:
"Spilled my drink? 'But it's summer! 😅🍹' Lost an argument? 'But it's summer! 🤷♂️☀️' Tripped over my own feet? You guessed it… 'But it's summer! 🕶️👟'"
189 Funny everything quotes
Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!
Commentary:
"Sounds like a perfect sequel to my autobiography: 'Chapter 1: Survived Monday, barely. Conclusion: Happy Friday!' 🎉🙃 #AdultingStruggles"
I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.
Commentary:
"When's the award ceremony? I've already prepared my acceptance speech! 🎭😂 #OfficeOscars"
A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.
Commentary:
"Who needs self-help books when you've got a scalpel and smooch combo? 😂🧠💋"
Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.
Commentary:
"Good morning to life's chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense! ☕️🤔🤪"
I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.
Commentary:
"Forget self-help books, I'm off to gallop my problems away! 🐎🤣 #WildHorseWisdom"
“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?
Commentary:
Haha, same here! Can I get a “calm” pass, please? 😂🙈🧘♀️
Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.
Commentary:
"Saturdays: the ultimate 'choose your own adventure' day! 😴🏃♂️ Or as I call it, 'Look busy while doing nothing!' 🍕📺"
You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”
Commentary:
"True! My closet is already a black hole for all my missing socks! 🧦🕳️😂"
Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.
Commentary:
"Finally, a productive use for my least favorite sibling! 😂🙈 #BlameGameChampion"