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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Just shared via Threads:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Just landed via Instagram:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Live now on Threads:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Going viral on Messenger:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,445

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Spotted on TikTok:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Just shared via Messenger:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Spotted on Twitch:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Going viral on YouTube:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

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