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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Just landed via YouTube:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Milk or be milked.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Trending via TikTok:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Spotted on Threads:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Just landed via WeChat:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

15 Funny fool quotes

Funny fool quotes are the perfect dose of humor to brighten your day and remind us all that being silly is a superpower 🤪✨ Whether you’re feeling a little goofy or just love a good laugh, these witty gems will tickle your funny bone 😂🎉 Dive in and embrace your inner fool with a smile! 😜🎈

New funny fool quotes 👇

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

5 days ago

another, care, dog, dog sitter, fool, hire, humor, pet, pet care, rate, sitter, survival, survival rate
My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

7 days ago

family, fool, humor, mom, never, personality, psycho, raise
Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

1 week ago

advice, avoid, avoid fool, avoid tool, being, cool, fool, graduation, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, slang, stay, stay cool, tool, wisdom
April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

1 week ago

anticipation, April, April Fool, asked, event, fool, friendship, humor, joke, me, next, prank, social, still, week
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

1 week ago

complain, condemn, criticize, fool, humor, irony, self-awarenes
One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

1 week ago

act, drunk, even, fool, humor, i, me, need, personality, spontaneity, thing
I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

1 week ago

age, fool, gentler, i, kinder, pity
Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

1 week ago

family, fool, humor, i, mama, own, raise, responsibility, self-deprecation, turned
The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

2 weeks ago

baby, embarrassing, embarrassment, fool, front, funny moment, laugh, laughter, moment, self-deprecation, thing, world, yourself
Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

3 weeks ago

away, care, dental, dental care, dentist, fool, hand, humor, irony, joke, keep, think, tools, toothbrush

For even more funny fool quotes, hit next 👇

All funny fool quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

85 shares on Threads this month:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Spotted on TikTok:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Just landed via Threads:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Going viral on TikTok:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Just landed via Discord:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Making waves on Twitch:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Trending via Discord:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

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