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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Just landed via Twitch:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Going viral on WeChat:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Spreading quickly via X:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Funny furious quotes

Funny furious quotes bring laughter to those moments when anger strikes but humor wins! 😂🔥 Whether you’re fuming over spilled coffee or a missed deadline, these witty lines turn frustration into fun. Get ready to smile, vent, and share some hilarious vibes that prove even fury can be funny! 😆💥 #MoodBoost #LaughItOff

New funny furious quotes 👇

All funny furious quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Trending via WeChat:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Trending via Messenger:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Trending via LinkedIn:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Spreading quickly via X:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

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