Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Going viral on YouTube:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Shared recently on Discord:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Live now on Slack:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Just landed via Twitch:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Making waves on Messenger:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Funny great shape quotes

Funny great shape quotes are here to brighten your day and keep those smiles stretching! 😄 Whether you’re rocking your curves or just love a clever twist on fitness and body positivity, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud 💪😂. Get ready to embrace all shapes with humor and confidence—because feeling great should always come with a side of fun! 🎉💕

New funny great shape quotes 👇

All funny great shape quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

31 shares on X this month:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Happy new fear!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Going viral on Discord:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Spreading quickly via X:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Live now on Twitch:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Breaking via YouTube:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Just landed via TikTok:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Going viral on Threads:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

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