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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

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13,922

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10,980

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3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Spotted on Slack:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Trending via Discord:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Just landed via Facebook:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Making waves on Facebook:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Making waves on Twitch:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Going viral on X:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t come to my house unannounced; I will stare at you from my window.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Reported on Messenger:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Making waves on Instagram:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Reported on Messenger:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

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