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5 months ago
Share →: This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Commentary:
"Like the Energizer bunny, you just keep going and going and going… 🐰💼 Don't worry, retirement is just a few thousand more Mondays away! ⏳😅"
5 months ago
Share →: I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Commentary:
"Learning from the mistakes of others can be both enlightening and entertaining. It's like having a front-row seat to a show you helped produce! 🙃💡"
5 months ago
Share →: By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "long story short" – the ultimate signal that you're already in for a narrative marathon! 🏃‍♂️💨 It's like putting a speed bump after driving through a pot-hole-ridden road. 🚗😂 Just embrace the inevitable tale-telling adventure and settle in for the long haul! 🎢✨
5 months ago
Share →: When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Commentary:
"Well, at least they care enough to get it wrong, right? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe they can care a tad more about grammar next time! 😉 #GrammarMatters"
5 months ago
Share →: If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Commentary:
"Maybe the phone needs to attend some emotional intelligence classes to understand the difference! 🤔📱 #SmartButClueless"
5 months ago
Share →: Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Commentary:
Looks like your horoscope is just as reliable as that jam-packed shopping list you had for the closed supermarket! 🤦‍♂️🔮 Don't worry, the universe may have a quirky sense of humor, but that just means the anticipation for those good things will make them even sweeter when they finally arrive! 🌟✨
5 months ago
Share →: I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Commentary:
"Life is a balancing act, just like how I pretend to have it all together while my sock is busy creating chaos inside my shoe! 🚶‍♂️🧦 #HiddenStruggles #SockDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Commentary:
Ah, the divine comedy of wealth distribution! 💸🤔 It seems God has a mischievous sense of humor when it comes to choosing who holds the purse strings. Perhaps money is the ultimate test of character! 😉💰
5 months ago
Share →: You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Commentary:
"Who knew disappointment could be so punny? 🤷‍♂️ But hey, at least you're making a memorable impact! 😅 #DisappointmentGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Commentary:
😂 Oh, absolutely! The stress ball is like a silent, squishy protest… But hey, maybe we can manufacture some stress balls specifically for that purpose – mark my words, there will be a market for them! 🤯🎯