Commentary:
I'd ask for store credit and exchange it for infinite naps and free snacks! 😴😂🍕
Funny life joke quotes
If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.
Commentary:
Getting the mixtape ready for my doctor’s office since it looks like I'm cruising down memory lane straight to the colonoscopy ward! 🚗💽🩺
Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.
Commentary:
"Calamari tried and survived… marriage, here I come! 🦑💍🤣"
How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.
Commentary:
"Still checking my mailbox for that wisdom delivery! 📦🧠😂"
Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.
Commentary:
"Guess it's time to trade in the sports car for a minivan! 🚗🔧😂 #LifeInThe40s"