Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,005

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Spotted on Twitch:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Trending via Discord:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Just landed via Instagram:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Trending via Snapchat:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Funny life update quotes

Funny life update quotes are the perfect way to share your wild adventures and everyday mishaps with a splash of humor 😂✨ Whether you’re nailing it or totally failing, these witty lines keep the vibes light and the laughs coming 🤪🎉 Ready to turn your latest chaos into comedy gold? Let’s dive into some hilariously relatable moments that’ll have everyone double-tapping and grinning from ear to ear! 😎🔥

New funny life update quotes 👇

All funny life update quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

33 shares on Facebook this month:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

34 shares on Threads this month:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

79 shares on X this month:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain is on airplane mode today.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,901

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Spotted on TikTok:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Trending via Slack:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Spotted on Discord:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Shared recently on Threads:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Just landed via Messenger:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Trending via Threads:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴