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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I love unplanned fun.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Live now on Discord:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Just landed via TikTok:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Spotted on Slack:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

12 Funny lip quotes

Funny lip quotes 💋 are the perfect way to add a splash of sass and humor to your day! Whether you’re rocking a bold lipstick shade or just love a clever twist on words, these witty lines will make you smile 😄 and maybe even wink 😉. Ready to pucker up and laugh out loud? Let’s dive into some lip-smackingly funny vibes! 💄✨

New funny lip quotes 👇

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All funny lip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

36 shares on X this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Just landed via Twitch:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Trending via Threads:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Going viral on Discord:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Spotted on Instagram:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Seen just now on Discord:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

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