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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from ðŸ‡ĩðŸ‡đ has viewed:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from ðŸ‡ķðŸ‡Ķ has downloaded:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇊🇊 has viewed:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇎🇞 has copied:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from ðŸ‡ļðŸ‡ū has viewed:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from ðŸ‡ē🇊 has shared:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇧🇞 has shared:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇧ðŸ‡Ķ has shared:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from ðŸ‡Ļ🇭 has shared:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from ðŸ‡đðŸ‡Đ has viewed:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Shared recently on Messenger:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Making waves on Threads:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Shared recently on Slack:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Just shared via Snapchat:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Trending via Messenger:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Breaking via Threads:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Home Âŧ Funny Miss Quotes

51 Funny miss quotes

Funny miss quotes ðŸĪŠ are those delightful little mishaps that make you chuckle and scratch your head at the same time! Whether it’s a hilarious twist of words or a classic mix-up, these gems add a splash of humor 🎉 to our day. Imagine the giggles when someone accidentally mashes up sayings and creates a new, unintended masterpiece! Dive into the world of amusing quote blunders and let the laughter roll 😂!

New funny miss quotes 👇

For even more funny miss quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny miss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌ïļ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂ðŸ’Ĩ

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes ðŸ”Ĩ

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from ðŸ‡ĻðŸ‡Ŧ has bookmarked:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĶðŸ‡Đ has viewed:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇎ðŸ‡ģ has viewed:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇭ðŸ‡đ has viewed:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĐðŸ‡ē has copied:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Someone from 🇊🇎 has bookmarked:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĩ🇭 has copied:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Someone from ðŸ‡ģ🇎 has bookmarked:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from ðŸ‡ģ🇊 has viewed:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from ðŸ‡đ🇞 has downloaded:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Spotted on Instagram:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Reported on Telegram:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Seen just now on X:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Making waves on Instagram:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Reported on Pinterest:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

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