Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Spotted on Slack:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Making waves on Telegram:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Shared recently on X:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

40 Funny missing quotes

Funny missing quotes 🤔✨ are like a treasure hunt for your brain! Ever found yourself chuckling at punchlines that vanished into thin air? 🕵️‍♂️😂 These elusive snippets leave you hanging, wondering what words of wisdom or hilarity slipped away. It’s a delightful puzzle 🧩🔥, perfect for sparking creativity and laughter. Dive into the world of these whimsical absentees and let your imagination run wild! 🎈🤪

New funny missing quotes 👇

I miss you when I wake up before you.

3 days ago

affection, before, early, early morning, i, longing, love, miss, missing, morning, relationship, wake, wake up
I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

3 days ago

hope, humor, i, kiss, kissing, lips, longing, miss, missing, next, relationship, romantic, wish, year
And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

4 days ago

emotional, expression, farewell, feeling, going, humor, love, million, miss, missing, next, trick, unspoken, unspoken feeling, ways
School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

4 days ago

anyone, friendship, gathering, honesty, humor, just, know, life, life success, missing, nobody, nostalgia, reunion, scam, school, school reunion, social, social gathering, success, want
Fifty shades of I miss you.

4 days ago

fifty, humor, i, longing, love, miss, missing, missing someone, parody, pun, relationship, shades, someone, wordplay
I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

4 days ago

anxiety, app, health, humor, i, irony, meditation, mental, mental health, mindfulness, missing, session, stress, technology
People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

4 days ago

decimal, difference, humor, joke, math, math humor, missing, misunderstanding, number, numbers, people, point, pun, tell, whole, wordplay
If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

5 days ago

activity, adventure, archery, blindfold, blindfold archery, challenge, fun, fun activity, give, humor, know, missing, new, outdoor, outdoor activity, risk, should, things, tried, trying, trying new things, uniqueness
If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

5 days ago

back, coming, exaggeration, humor, i, joke, missing, poster, prank, put, sarcasm, swear, weight
If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

5 days ago

aisle, check, decision, ever, food, humor, i, just, missing, snack

For even more funny missing quotes, hit next 👇

All funny missing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Making waves on Threads:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Spotted on YouTube:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Going viral on Messenger:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Making waves on Threads:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Making waves on Instagram:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

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