I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! 🧦🌀🚪 Socks mysteriously disappearing in the laundry can only mean one thing… They must be embarking on secret adventures through the elusive washing machine portal! Next time you do laundry, keep an eye out for any interdimensional travelers trying to hitch a ride on your clothes! 🕵️‍♂️✨

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Commentary:
"Good morning to everyone except the ones still searching for their Roommate of the Year award 🤷‍♂️📚 Hope they stumble upon some good vibes today! 😂"

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Commentary:
"Hey boy, are you the sun? ☀️ Because just like the sun in summer, you were shining bright in my life ☀️🔥 But now, it feels like you've decided to take a vacation to the other side of the world without warning! 🌍😂 #MIA #SunOrBoy"

I'm so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Commentary:
"Missing early morning meetings is an art form 🎨 Who needs alarms when you have natural talent like this? Maybe next time, try setting your alarm to snooze and repeat 5 times, just to keep things interesting 😉⏰ #ProfessionalSleeper"

If you don't like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Commentary:
"Oh, you don't like sports? You're missing out on all the opportunities to bond with strangers over the pain of your favorite team losing! 🤣🏈 Don't worry, we can still chat about the weather or complain about Mondays instead! ☀️😩"

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️🔍 Ah, the classic "Creepy Steve" scenario in every true crime podcast! It's like a game of Clue where the suspect's name is practically screaming "Guilty!" from the get-go. But hey, at least we can always rely on the community to have a unanimously agreed-upon nickname for the potential suspect, right? "Creepy Steve" strikes again! 🔎🚨

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Commentary:
"Looks like the pens are the real precious assets at that bank! 🖊️💰 Maybe the pens are off on a vacation, spending all that safe money somewhere sunny… 🌴😎 Just don't let them draw on your bank account balance!"

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of wanting to go off the grid so badly, you actually consider becoming a missing person 🕵️‍♂️💼 Just imagine the adventures that await in the land of Missing- where chores and responsibilities are but a myth! Good luck convincing your boss you're on a business trip to Missing though 🤣🗺️ #WhereInTheWorldIsUser

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don't know what you're missing!

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Commentary:
"Missing the mark has never been more fun! 🏹😄 Who knew shooting arrows blindfolded could be so exhilarating? Take a shot in the dark and see where it lands – just hope it's not in your neighbor's yard! 😉 #BlindfoldArcheryAdventures"

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Commentary:
"If I vanish into thin air, just slap my face on some wine bottles 🍷 My friends will be more inclined to go searching in the vineyards than in the dairy aisle! Who needs a missing persons alert when you have a grape escape plan 😉 #WineNotFindMe"