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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Going viral on Slack:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Trending via Twitch:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Trending via YouTube:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Going viral on Discord:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

35 Funny mistakes quotes

More funny mistakes quotes 👇

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

2 months ago

amount, cooking, ever, food, humor, i, kitchen, mistakes, pasta, right, think
Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

2 months ago

crime, crime genre, documentary, entertainment, genre, humor, i, learn, learning, mistakes, sarcastic, true, true crime, watching, witty
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

2 months ago

embrace, hug, humor, i, joke, marriage, me, mistake, mistakes, relationship, told, wife
It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

2 months ago

future, humor, hundred, irony, laugh, laughter, live, mistake, mistakes, nothing, people, perspective, say, time, us
It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

2 months ago

even, fact, family, growth, humor, important, lessons, life, life lessons, mistakes, parenting, parents, remember, self-awareness, us
My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

2 months ago

blooper, humor, life, mistakes, moments, reel, whole
So many mistakes to make, so little time.

2 months ago

decision, humor, irony, life, little, mistake, mistakes, opportunity, procrastination, time
Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

2 months ago

enthusiasm, fun, humor, making, mistakes, new, new year, old, optimism, Resolutions, same, self-improvement, year
One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

2 months ago

day, good, humor, i, learning, looking, mistake, mistakes, optimism, procrastination, self-reflection, start, today, tomorrow
Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, humor, mistakes, recap, reflection, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, wrapped, year

For even more funny mistakes quotes, hit next 👇

All funny mistakes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Shared recently on YouTube:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Making waves on Telegram:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Breaking via Threads:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Activity Log ✨

35 Funny mistakes quotes

More funny mistakes quotes 👇

All funny mistakes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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