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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2431 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,593

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,593

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Going viral on Facebook:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Spotted on Facebook:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Breaking via Threads:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Broadcasted on X:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Reported on X:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2431 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,593

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,593

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Trending via Facebook:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Just shared via TikTok:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Just shared via Slack:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Spotted on Messenger:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Going viral on Facebook:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Just landed via Twitch:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Making waves on Facebook:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

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