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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Spotted on X:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Trending via Reddit:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Just shared via Pinterest:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Spotted on Reddit:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Making waves on Telegram:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Funny oath quotes

New funny oath quotes 👇

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

0

2 months ago

advice, ask, asking, humor, oath, people, relationships, secret, single, singles, success, tell

Someone from 🇧🇬 has recently shared this quote.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month.

All funny oath quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

39 shares on X this month:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

18 shares on X this month:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

73 shares on X this month:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Spotted on TikTok:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Going viral on Facebook:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Freshly posted on X:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Making waves on Slack:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny oath quotes

New funny oath quotes 👇

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

All funny oath quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨