108 Funny old quotes

More funny old quotes 👇

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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.
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  5 months ago

  View →: You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).
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  5 months ago

  View →: I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.
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  5 months ago

  View →: No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
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  5 months ago

  View →: A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.
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  5 months ago

  View →: You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

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