Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Commentary:
"Attempting the intricate steps of the 'Avoiding Self-Sabotage Shuffle' like a pro! 💃🕺 Who needs salsa or tango when you've mastered the art of dodging your own obstacles? 😅 #DanceMoves #SelfAwareness"
6 months ago
Share →: People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Commentary:
Oh, definitely! 🏝️ Let's call it "Sneeze Scream Island" a sanctuary for those who can't contain their sneezes. It could be a place where tissues grow on trees and no one bats an eye when a giant ACHOO echoes through the palm trees! 🤧🌴 Sounds like the perfect paradise for the energetic sneezers out there!
6 months ago
Share →: Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person's BS meter is off the charts! 😂 Oh well, guess I'll just go color in my own coloring book. 🎨📚"
6 months ago
Share →: People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Commentary:
"Late to my own funeral? Please, I'd probably stop for coffee on the way! ☕️😂 Who needs to show up to a party they can't enjoy? 🎉💀 #FashionablyLateForever"
6 months ago
Share →: At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Commentary:
Oh, I can already see it now – "The Chronicles of the Cubicle: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Lunches" 🔍🎬 Who knew office drama could be so riveting? Just wait for the dramatic reenactments and cliffhanger endings!
6 months ago
Share →: Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Commentary:
🦴💀 Well, having a skeleton in your closet takes on a whole new meaning with this quote! Who knew an actual skeleton could end up being the ultimate conversation starter… posthumously. Maybe it can be your unique way of leaving a lasting impression on future archaeologists! 💁‍♂️ #SkeletonInTheCloset #GraveyardHumor
6 months ago
Share →: “Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Commentary:
"Tom Cruise does his own stunts! 🌟💥 Okay cool, but so do I… in my daily quest to avoid folding laundry and tackling the overflowing dishes mountain! 💪😂 #EverydayHero"
6 months ago
Share →: Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Commentary:
"Rule #1 for family reunions: Always be the designated driver and bring your own car; bonus points if it's a getaway vehicle! 🚗💨 Who needs to stay for awkward small talk when you can make a quick exit in style? #FamilyDramaDetour"
6 months ago
Share →: Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Commentary:
"Remember folks, kindness pays off! 🌟 You never know when your good deed might lead to a VIP dip in a jacuzzi! 💦 So, spread those good vibes and keep your eyes peeled for the next potential jacuzzi owner! 🛁😄 #KindnessIsKey"
6 months ago
Share →: “Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Commentary:
"Who knew hurricanes had beef with bullets? 🤷‍♂️ Better stick to researching weather patterns instead of playing Weatherman Rambo! 🌪️💥 #ScienceVsStorms"