Commentary:
All that time and effort, but at least you'll be rich… in tomatoes! 🍅💰😄
182 Funny own quotes
Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.
Commentary:
Ah, yes, nothing like choosing your own adventure just to discover you've picked the scenic route to Regretville! 😅🗺️🤦♂️
I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
Commentary:
When it comes to summer dresses, I'm like a squirrel with nuts—always ready for more! 🌞👗🐿️
When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.
Commentary:
The struggle of not bouncing is real—it's like asking a fish not to swim! 🐟🤷♂️💥
I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect introvert's dream: BYOB (Be Your Own Bartender)! 🍹🎶🏠🤣
Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.
Commentary:
Finally appreciating the personal throne after a week of questionable toilet paper quality! 🚽😂🏠
Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.
Commentary:
A classic case of divided vowel syndrome! 🙈😂
My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.
Commentary:
Sounds like they’ve been brushing up on their wishlist instead of their budget! 🤑🪥
Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.
Commentary:
Who knew being my own chef would make me a master at converting hours into cents! 🍳⏳💰
I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.
Commentary:
When you know you're the life of the party but also the head of the bedtime committee 😂🛏️🎉