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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Live now on Messenger:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Breaking via TikTok:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Spotted on Facebook:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Going viral on TikTok:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Funny paragraphs quotes

Funny paragraphs quotes are the perfect way to sprinkle laughter into your day 😂✨ Whether you need a quick mood boost or a clever line to share with friends, these witty gems will have you chuckling in no time 🤣💬 Get ready to brighten your feed and spread the joy with humor that’s as sharp as it is silly 🎉📱 Let the good vibes and giggles roll!

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

67 shares on Threads this month:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

35 shares on Slack this month:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Trending via Facebook:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Freshly posted on X:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Breaking via Telegram:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Going bananas on Reddit:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

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