71 Funny past quotes

• New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

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  1 week ago

  awesome, breakfast, city, city life, cold, expensive, freezing, homeless, humor, irony, life, new, New York, past, people, spend, walk, yes, york

• You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

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  1 week ago

  activity, age, cow, drive, driving, fun, fun activity, never, old, past, shout, too

• The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

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  1 week ago

  absolutely, amount, days, doing, doing nothing, done, i, laziness, love, nothing, over, past, relaxation, rest, sleeping

• I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

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  1 month ago

  accept, acceptance, extreme, humor, i, life, loneliness, past, past life, punishment, self-deprecation, simply, something, worry

• When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

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  1 month ago

  bedtime, fear, humor, i, night, past, scared, sleep

• Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

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  2 months ago

  anxiety, bank, buyer, call, confirm, department, fraud, having, humor, little, moment, over, past, phone, phone call, purchase, self-examination, treat, truly

• Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

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  2 months ago

  airport, aura, humor, observation, past, personality, pilot, travel, walk

• Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

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  2 months ago

  avoid, awkward, awkward situation, event, ever, ghost, ghosting, interaction, past, situation, social, social interaction

• The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

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  2 months ago

  aging, body, fitness, flat, flat stomach, health, humor, i, miss, nostalgia, only, past, stomach, thing, weight

• I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

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  2 months ago

  70s, back, days, exist, existence, humor, i, miss, nostalgia, old, past, time

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