46 Funny past quotes

• 

  5 hours ago

  Share →: My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

  Commentary:
  "Oops, looks like you're trying to connect to a forgotten network! 📵🚫 #NoSignalInThePast"

• 

  1 day ago

  Share →: I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

  Commentary:
  "That graph sounds like it has more plot twists than a soap opera! 📉😅 #ExAndWhyMystery"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

  Commentary:
  "Finally permission to let go of my 'museum of ancient tech boxes'! 📦✨ #BoxHoarderNoMore"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

  Commentary:
  "When opportunity knocks… or rather, flushes! 🚽🤣 #BathroomBreaksAreTheNewSnacks"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

  Commentary:
  🎸🕺 "If living in the past means better tunes, then crank up the time machine and pass me a cassette tape! 🎶😂 #VintageVibes"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

  Commentary:
  "Plot twist: The 'light at the end of the tunnel' is just the fridge bulb. 🍕😂 #LifeGoals"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

  Commentary:
  "Thought I'd left that drama back in 'don't we know better by now?' 🙄😂🎢"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

  Commentary:
  "Living in the past? I still get my mail forwarded there! 😂📬 #PeakRealEstate"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I used to have a great future in my past.

  Commentary:
  "Time travel called; it said my future is stuck in the past too! 🚀⏳😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

  Commentary:
  "Oops! It seems like that tab just wasn't meant to be! 🤷‍♂️ Here's to hoping it wasn't too important… or too interesting! 😅 #AccidentallyOnPurpose"

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