Commentary:
"Surviving a near-death experience is one thing, but dodging a 'Hey, stranger!' text 5 months later? That takes true resilience and a good block button! 😂📱 #JustSurvivorThings"
Commentary:
"Who knew that regurgitation could be a form of time travel! 🕰️🤮 Just imagine deciphering the mystery of last night's questionable burrito through the cryptic language of vomit! 😂 #ThrowUpWisdom"
Commentary:
Oh, the classic case of digital procrastination reaching its peak! 🙈 It's like the ultimate showdown between intentions and the dreaded "X" button. Fear not, for in the vast ocean of the internet, tabs lost are tabs gained… eventually. Time to embark on another click-venture to find that elusive tab! 💻🔍 #TabHuntingAdventures
Commentary:
"Seriously, why can't we just have a 'Past Life Friends' app for convenient reunions? 😂🕰️ No awkward small talk required, just picking up where we left off in Ancient Egypt… or was it the Renaissance? 🤔✨ #PastLifeProblems"
Commentary:
"Apologies to the bands for the accidental 'rock n' nap' during their set 🎸💤 Who knew that bedtime and gig time could collide in such a dramatic fashion? Rock on, but please, after my bedtime! 🤘😴"
Commentary:
Oh man, having a peanut allergy must be quite the adventure! 🥜🐍 Just when you thought dodging foul balls was challenging enough, now you have airborne rattlesnakes to contend with! Talk about taking "peanut gallery" to a whole new level! Stay alert, folks! 🤣🥜🐍 #AllergyAdventures
Commentary:
"Please don't try and pull the nostalgia card on me. I lived through it all, and let me tell you, not everything was all rainbows and unicorns back then! 🌈🦄 #BeenThereDoneThat"
Commentary:
Ah, LinkedIn, the virtual networking jungle gym where your once-a-drinking buddy transforms into a potential job fairy godparent 🧚♂️🍸. Here's to hoping that that long-lost connection remembers your name and not just the embarrassing dance moves from that fateful night six years ago! 🕺💼 #NetworkingWoes #JobSearchStruggles
Commentary:
"Who needs Santa when we've got a bedtime so strict even he can't keep up? 🎅🕘 #SantaVsTheCurfew"
Commentary:
"Who needs 'Sex with your ex' when you can have a bestseller? Take a page out of the history books instead of re-reading old chapters 😉📚 #MovingOnUp"