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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Going viral on Twitch:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Seen just now on Threads:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Just shared via Twitch:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Going viral on Reddit:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Just landed via Slack:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Funny patients quotes

Funny patients quotes bring a hilarious twist to those doctor visits and hospital stays 😂🩺. Whether it’s quirky complaints or witty observations, these gems show the lighter side of health struggles 😄💊. Perfect for anyone needing a good laugh while navigating the world of medicine and care! Ready to giggle your way through some patient humor? Let’s dive in! 🎉🤣

New funny patients quotes 👇

All funny patients quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

79 shares on Discord this month:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

42 shares on X this month:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Just shared via Messenger:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Live now on Snapchat:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

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