Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Just shared via Telegram:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Funny patients quotes

Funny patients quotes bring a hilarious twist to those doctor visits and hospital stays 😂🩺. Whether it’s quirky complaints or witty observations, these gems show the lighter side of health struggles 😄💊. Perfect for anyone needing a good laugh while navigating the world of medicine and care! Ready to giggle your way through some patient humor? Let’s dive in! 🎉🤣

New funny patients quotes 👇

All funny patients quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

31 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Spotted on Facebook:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Just landed via Slack:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Live now on WeChat:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

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