Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Making waves on X:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Live now on Instagram:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Making waves on TikTok:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Trending via Telegram:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Spotted on Slack:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Funny perverted quotes

New funny perverted quotes 👇

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

4 days ago

elegant, humor, personality, perverted, whimsical

All funny perverted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

39 shares on Slack this month:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

18 shares on X this month:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Breaking via Messenger:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Just landed via YouTube:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Just shared via Messenger:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Just shared via Slack:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Just shared via Discord:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny perverted quotes

New funny perverted quotes 👇

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

All funny perverted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨