19 Funny random quotes

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

  Commentary:
  🎬 Surprise Movie Night: Because who doesn't love an impromptu midweek movie mystery challenge? 🕵️‍♂️🍿

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

  Commentary:
  "Twitter: where you can have a full-blown conversation with yourself and suddenly find a whole cheer squad of random strangers joining in 🤪👏 #EchoChamber"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

  Commentary:
  "From fearing the Bermuda Triangle to wanting a one-way ticket there… that's what we call evolution! 🌀✈️ Who knew the mysterious allure of vanishing could become a life goal!? 😂 #AdultingGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

  Commentary:
  Breaking news: local prankster strikes again, masterfully executing the classic "It's done" text to random numbers! 📱😄 Will the unsuspecting recipients fall for the mystery of the message, or decode the ultimate prank? Stay tuned for the thrilling sequel of "Random Number Roulette: The Sequel"! 🎉 #TextingAntics #MischiefManaged

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

  Commentary:
  🎄🤪 Not sure if this is a prank or just a new way to spread holiday cheer at work! "Are you joining this meeting?" text could either spark confusion or laughter, or maybe even a frantic search for a missing meeting invite! Either way, it's the season of surprises, right? 😂 #OfficeHolidayShenanigans

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine politicians being chosen like winning lottery numbers – 'And the lucky representative for District 10 is… 42!' 🎲🎉 Who needs campaign promises when you have lady luck on your side? #RandomSelectionForPresidentialElection"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

  Commentary:
  "Living near the coast sounds like a dream! Just casually strolling on the beach on a Tuesday? Must be nice 😒🏖️ If only my nearest 'coastal area' wasn't a three-hour drive to a muddy river. Oh, the envy is real! 😂 #BeachGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the ancient Starbucks ritual of summoning the barista's creativity with a perplexing order 😄🔮 It's like a caffeinated incantation meant to bring forth the ultimate fusion of flavors in a cup! Just remember to add a side of magical sprinkles and a pinch of unicorn dust for good measure! 🦄☕✨

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

  Commentary:
  "Me trying to pronounce prescription drug names be like: 'Oh, Qdilrox, my old friend!' 🤔💊 Definitely feels like they're playing a game of Scrabble with a twist! 🧩😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

  Commentary:
  Oh, this person has clearly mastered the art of awkward encounters! 🙈 It's like a real-life sitcom episode playing out at random restaurants. 😂 Next level humor mixed with a sprinkle of discomfort, served with a side of expert timing! 🍽️🤣

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