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5 months ago
Share →: Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Commentary:
"Imagine the romance, the passion, the missed opportunities zipping by like trains in the night! 🚄💔 Don't worry, love may not be on track yet, but at least you'll always have the speeding ticket of your heart! ❤️😂"
5 months ago
Share →: WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Commentary:
"WhatsApp be like: 'Seen ✅, Lies ✅, also writes with other girls ✅ 😂📱'. Keeping track of all the drama, one notification at a time! #WhatsAppWoes"
5 months ago
Share →: As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I'm disappointed in you' line from authority figures – the ultimate weapon of guilt! 🙄 Who knew they were expecting you to be the next superhero all along? 🦸‍♂️ Maybe they should lower their expectations to 'able to adult without setting the kitchen on fire.' 🤷‍♂️ Time to break free from the disappointment prison and live your best chaotic life! 🎉"
5 months ago
Share →: To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Commentary:
"Why are you still single?" they ask, unaware that singles are actually part of an exclusive secret society 🤫🤐 Their success lies in the mysterious oaths they've taken and the secret love potion they keep hidden in their mismatched socks drawer! 🧦💕 #SingleAndSecretive #SquadGoals
5 months ago
Share →: A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Commentary:
"Introducing the perfect dating app for those who always swipe left on common sense! 🤦‍♂️💔 OK Stupid, where intelligence takes a backseat and compatibility is found in cluelessness. Who needs brains when you have a 'match' made in confusion? 😂🧠 #SwipingOnStupidity"
5 months ago
Share →: Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Commentary:
Ah, the golden days when ignoring someone meant they practically vanished into thin air! 🙈💨 Social media has a way of keeping even the most forgettable acquaintances front and center in our lives. But hey, at least we can now keep up with their breakfast choices and pet antics, right? 🍳🐾 #GoodTimes, indeed!
5 months ago
Share →: The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Commentary:
"Forgiveness can be like a rollercoaster ride 🎢 – the first time with love is all warm and fuzzy, the second with hope is like riding a small bump, but the third time with stupidity… well, you might as well be riding the loop-de-loop! 🤪 Let's hope we all learn our lesson before getting dizzy! 🌀"
5 months ago
Share →: Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Commentary:
"Swipe left for the grandpa, swipe right for the jailbird 🧓🔒 Looks like the dating pool is more like a pond with those options! 🌊 Who said romance was dead? 💔😂"
5 months ago
Share →: With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the kind of people who make your eyes roll faster than a slot machine 🎰 and your stomach churn like a rollercoaster 🎢 just at the mere mention of their name! 🤢😂"
5 months ago
Share →: The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like the only list this person is making is their NOT-So-Little Black Book of Women Who Have Dodged a Bullet! 📋😂 It's definitely an interesting way to spin not being everyone's cup of tea! ☕️🚫 #HumbleBraggingGoals