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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

2 hours ago

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Seen just now on Discord:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Shared recently on Slack:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Going viral on Facebook:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Reported on WeChat:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Home » Funny Responsibility Quotes » Page 14

131 Funny responsibility quotes

More funny responsibility quotes 👇

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Commentary:
"Feeling invisible? Just default on a payment or two and watch the VIP treatment arrive faster than you can say 'overdraft fee' 😂💸 #MoneyTalks #PayToPlay"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

2 hours ago

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Going viral on Threads:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Seen just now on Discord:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Seen just now on X:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Breaking via X:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

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