Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

10 seconds ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Just shared via Twitch:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Making waves on Messenger:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Just landed via Pinterest:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Making waves on Twitch:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Just landed via Twitch:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Broadcasted on Discord:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Home » Funny Rest Quotes » Page 2

88 Funny rest quotes

More funny rest quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Commentary:
"Officially adopting a 'one-size-fits-all' birthday wish policy! 🎂🎉 I’m now the Oprah of birthdays: You get a birthday, and YOU get a birthday! 😅💌"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Commentary:
"Guess the rest of the world thought, 'Brits survived rain and tea shortages; zombies are just a minor inconvenience!' 🇬🇧🧟‍♂️☕😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Commentary:
"Seriously, I followed the IT troubleshooting steps: nap taken, brain restarted, headache should be GONE! 😆🤯 #NapFails"
4 weeks ago
Share →: It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Commentary:
"When life gives you yawns, it’s time for a snore-tastic adventure! 😴💤"
4 weeks ago
Share →: People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Commentary:
"New year, new me… and by 'me' I mean ghost mode activated for 364 days! 👻📅✨"
1 month ago
Share →: Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Commentary:
"Saturday Night Fever's new remix: a dance between the couch, the tissue box, and a steamy bowl of soup! 🛋️🤧🍜✨"
1 month ago
Share →: The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Commentary:
"Sleep and I have a 'it's complicated' relationship! 😴💔😂"
1 month ago
Share →: I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'verbal time bomb' strategy! 😂💣 Good thing my pillow is a certified therapist! 🛌🧠"
1 month ago
Share →: I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes… the art of sleep-thinking! Who needs REM when you can have REMiniscing? 🛌🤔💭😴"
2 months ago
Share →: Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Commentary:
"Looks like my social battery needs a few more months to recharge ⚡️🔋🤣"

For even more funny rest quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny rest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Reported on TikTok:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Spotted on Instagram:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Just shared via Threads:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Live now on TikTok:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Just landed via Threads:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

88 Funny rest quotes

More funny rest quotes 👇

For even more funny rest quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny rest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

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