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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

125 Funny rest quotes

Funny rest quotes are here to celebrate the hilarious reality of trying to relax — and somehow still being exhausted! 😂😴 Whether it’s taking a nap that turns into a full night’s sleep, lying down “for just 5 minutes” and waking up in 2043, or needing a break from doing nothing, these quotes remind us that rest can be chaotic… but funny! Because sometimes, even resting is hard work! 😆🛌💤

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Posted onMay 20, 2026

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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