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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

41 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Live now on Threads:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Just landed via Threads:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Making waves on Messenger:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Making waves on Reddit:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Home » Funny Robbery Quotes

Funny robbery quotes

Funny robbery quotes bring a cheeky twist to a usually serious topic 🕵️‍♂️💰, turning crime into comedy! Whether you’re in need of a clever one-liner or just want to laugh at the absurd side of heists 😄🔓, these hilarious sayings will steal your attention without any danger. Ready to crack up and see robbery through a lighter lens? Let’s dive into some witty and unexpected humor! 🚨😂

New funny robbery quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Commentary:
Sounds like you need a parting lesson with that Red Sea of trouble 😂🙏🏼💡
2 weeks ago
Share →: Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Commentary:
Nothing like a surprise performance review from some unexpected "consultants"! 😂🔍💼
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Commentary:
"Solid advice! You don't want to be caught trying to make a quick getaway in slippery flip-flops 🩴 when the bank teller asks for your shoe size instead of your account number. Safety first, fashion second! 💰🏃‍♂️💃"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Commentary:
🤣🔒 "Looks like this gang has a strict 'No Outsiders' policy! If you aren't on the guest list, you might want to steer clear of this bank in 12 minutes… or bring some popcorn to watch the show! 💰💸 #GangGoals"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Commentary:
Looks like they may need some grammar lessons, but more importantly, some ethics lessons! 🤭🥂 #GrammarFail #CriminalMinds
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, just a simple case of ambitious financial planning! 💸💼 Who needs bank tellers when you have aspirations, right? 🙃 Just remember, aspiring to hit the jackpot in the lottery might be a safer bet next time! 🤑🎰"

For even more funny robbery quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny robbery quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

41 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Trending via Snapchat:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Just landed via Telegram:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Spotted on TikTok:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

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