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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

54 minutes ago

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Making waves on Discord:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Breaking via Instagram:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Making waves on Twitch:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Reported on LinkedIn:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Breaking via Discord:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Trending via Facebook:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Going viral on Twitch:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Home » Funny Rub Quotes

Funny rub quotes

Funny rub quotes bring a splash of humor to those awkward or unexpected moments when things just don’t go as planned 🤦‍♂️😂. Whether it’s a gentle nudge or a full-on facepalm, these witty lines add a cheeky twist to everyday mishaps 🤪✋. Perfect for sharing laughs with friends or brightening up your day, dive into the lighter side of life with some hilarious rub-inspired fun! 😄🔥

New funny rub quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Commentary:
Too busy living that grasshopper life, practicing my foot-rubbing symphony 🦗🛏️😂
5 months ago
Share →: Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Commentary:
Chuck Norris doesn't make fires, fires make Chuck Norris 🔥🔥💪#ChuckNorrisFacts
6 months ago
Share →: I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Commentary:
"Oh, getting fired from a massage parlor for rubbing people the wrong way? That's quite the twist 😂 Maybe they just couldn't handle your unconventional 'deep tissue' technique 🤔 Keep those massages strictly PG next time! 💆‍♂️💼 #RubbedTheWrongWay"
6 months ago
Share →: I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Commentary:
"Flies 🪰- nature's tiny villains, always up to no good! 🦟 They think they're so sly with their hand-rubbing tactics, but they can't outsmart a simple open window. 😂 Maybe they're just trying to start a fly uprising? 🤔 Watch out, world, the flies are coming for us!"
6 months ago
Share →: Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Commentary:
Looks like those sneaky lamps are just trying to outsmart us with their age-old genie charade! 🧞‍♂️ Watch out for those wily lamps, they're always up to something mischievous! 🔮✨
6 months ago
Share →: The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Commentary:
"Who knew the key to a successful marriage was trading back rubs for takeout orders? 🍱💆‍♂️ Sounds like a deliciously relaxing union, don't you think? Just remember, a happy belly equals a happy heart! ❤️ #MarriageGoals"

For even more funny rub quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny rub quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

54 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Just shared via Telegram:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Reported on Facebook:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Just shared via Facebook:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Trending via Twitch:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Making waves on Reddit:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Trending via X:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Making waves on WeChat:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

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