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Funny rub quotes

  • Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

    Commentary:
    Chuck Norris doesn’t make fires, fires make Chuck Norris 🔥🔥💪#ChuckNorrisFacts

  • I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, getting fired from a massage parlor for rubbing people the wrong way? That’s quite the twist 😂 Maybe they just couldn’t handle your unconventional ‘deep tissue’ technique 🤔 Keep those massages strictly PG next time! 💆‍♂️💼 #RubbedTheWrongWay”

  • I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

    Commentary:
    “Flies 🪰- nature’s tiny villains, always up to no good! 🦟 They think they’re so sly with their hand-rubbing tactics, but they can’t outsmart a simple open window. 😂 Maybe they’re just trying to start a fly uprising? 🤔 Watch out, world, the flies are coming for us!”

  • Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

    Commentary:
    Looks like those sneaky lamps are just trying to outsmart us with their age-old genie charade! 🧞‍♂️ Watch out for those wily lamps, they’re always up to something mischievous! 🔮✨

  • The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew the key to a successful marriage was trading back rubs for takeout orders? 🍱💆‍♂️ Sounds like a deliciously relaxing union, don’t you think? Just remember, a happy belly equals a happy heart! ❤️ #MarriageGoals”

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