45 Funny said quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, it's all about timing! 🤪 Say something bizarre to distract from your strange actions. 🙃 Who knew being weird could be so strategic? 😂"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

  Commentary:
  Oh, sure, because we all know the most profound life lessons are learned from an anvil falling on someone's head and a bird outsmarting a coyote! 🐦🎩 Looks like this dad is really onto something, teaching his kids the important values of high-speed chases and explosive pranks! 😂 #ParentingGoals

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  4 months ago

  Share →: My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like his wife sees the glass half empty… or in this case, the bottle half empty! 🍷😂 Maybe he should try a 'glass half full' approach next time!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

  Commentary:
  "🍝🏃‍♀️ Sounds like a recipe for success! Who knew carbs could be so motivating? Maybe I should wear a shirt that says “Eat Chocolate, Run Faster” 😂🍫 Keep your pasta close and your fitness goals closer!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

  Commentary:
  "He's not just hot… he's sizzling! 🔥 Keeping promises like a true superstar! 💫✨ #ManOfHisWord"

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