Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Just shared via Facebook:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Going viral on YouTube:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Live now on YouTube:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Live now on Twitch:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Just landed via Telegram:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Funny screams quotes

Funny screams quotes bring out the hilarious side of those unexpected, loud moments 🤪🎉 Whether it’s a surprise, a spooky encounter, or just pure excitement, these quotes turn screams into laughs 😂🔥 Get ready to laugh out loud and maybe even scream a little yourself—because sometimes, the funniest screams are the ones we never see coming! 🙀🤣

New funny screams quotes 👇

All funny screams quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

18 shares on X this month:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Making waves on YouTube:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Seen just now on Twitch:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Spotted on Slack:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Seen just now on Instagram:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

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