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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Trending via WeChat:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Trending via Telegram:

I love having plans to cancel.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Trending via Slack:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Making waves on Messenger:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Trending via YouTube:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Live now on Snapchat:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Home » Funny Self-injury Quotes

Funny self-injury quotes

New funny self-injury quotes 👇

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

0

2 months ago

50, coping, coping mechanism, cursing, humor, mechanism, pain, psychology, relief, self-injury

All funny self-injury quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

37 shares on Threads this month:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Broadcasted on X:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Shared recently on Discord:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Making waves on YouTube:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny self-injury quotes

New funny self-injury quotes 👇

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

All funny self-injury quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨