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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

52 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Shared recently on X:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Reported on X:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Seen just now on Telegram:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Making waves on X:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Just landed via Telegram:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Spotted on Instagram:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Home » Funny Self-injury Quotes

Funny self-injury quotes

New funny self-injury quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like we've finally found the magical spell to ease our troubles! 🧙‍♂️🎩 Who would have thought that a sprinkle of swear words could be the ultimate pain reliever? Now, excuse me while I practice my newfound potion-making skills next time I stub my toe! 🤬🧙‍♀️💫

For even more funny self-injury quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny self-injury quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

52 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Trending via X:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Spotted on Discord:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Just landed via Discord:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Going viral on Threads:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Making waves on YouTube:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Reported on Telegram:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Just landed via Discord:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

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