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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Making waves on Facebook:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Making waves on Discord:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Reported on Facebook:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Just shared via Instagram:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Making waves on YouTube:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t hate me, date me!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Just landed via Instagram:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Trending via Telegram:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Making waves on Discord:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Just shared via Discord:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

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