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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Trending via X:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Making waves on X:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Going viral on YouTube:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Going viral on Telegram:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Just landed via Reddit:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on X:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Going viral on Facebook:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Just shared via X:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Seen just now on X:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Trending via WeChat:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Reported on Twitch:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Just landed via Discord:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Just landed via Twitch:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

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