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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Just landed via Instagram:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Just shared via Facebook:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Broadcasted on X:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Just landed via Threads:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Seen just now on Threads:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Making waves on Twitch:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Funny stab quotes

Funny stab quotes are the perfect mix of wit and cheeky humor to keep things sharp and entertaining 😜✨ Whether you love clever comebacks or just enjoy a good laugh with a side of sass, these quotes will slice through the boredom and leave you grinning 🤣🔪 Ready to embrace the playful sting of humor? Dive in and let the fun begin! 🎉😂

New funny stab quotes 👇

All funny stab quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Messenger this month:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

27 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

44 shares on X this month:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

72 shares on Reddit this month:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Just shared via Instagram:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Live now on Telegram:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Spotted on Slack:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Going viral on Slack:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

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