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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

Making waves on YouTube:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Just landed via WeChat:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Going viral on Threads:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Going viral on Slack:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Making waves on Threads:

Sane is boring.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Seen just now on Telegram:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Making waves on WeChat:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Funny staying awake quotes

New funny staying awake quotes 👇

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

2 days ago

awake, gratitude, humor, late, moon, night, staying, staying awake, thank

All funny staying awake quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Slack this month:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The peace of not knowing.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Trending via Reddit:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Seen just now on Threads:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

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Funny staying awake quotes

New funny staying awake quotes 👇

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

All funny staying awake quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨