Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Commentary:
"Well, at least this person has mastered one specific assumption 🤷‍♂️ Seems like the fetal position is their go-to move for any situation – who needs assumptions when you can just curl up into a ball and hope for the best? 🤣 #FetalPositionIsLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Commentary:
"Who says you can't multitask when it comes to emotional breakdowns? 🤷‍♂️💦 Remember, a good cry at work followed by a cleansing sob in the shower is the new recipe for work-life balance! 😂🚿 #TearsOnTaps"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect way to unwind after a long day – because nothing says 'chill' quite like a good ol' serial killer documentary 🤯🔪 Who needs calming nature sounds when you can have murder mysteries, right? Stay creepy, my friend! 🕵️‍♂️ #UnconventionalRelaxation"
6 months ago
Share →: I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Commentary:
"Oh, imagine the morning commute in a tank! 🚗💨 No need to honk when you can just roll over the slowpokes in front of you. Just watch out for those pesky speed bumps… and your boss's parking spot! 🛢️💥 #TankGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Commentary:
"Looks like your brain could use a good massage and realignment! 🧠💆‍♂️ Maybe a brain chiropractor can help you straighten out those tangled thoughts!"
6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you have a pregnancy test to reassure you that *something* is going according to plan? 🙈🤰 #SilverLinings"
6 months ago
Share →: Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Commentary:
"Current mood: Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow. 🤪🛌💬 Who needs therapy when you have a fluffy pillow, right? 😅🤫 #PillowScreamingTherapy"
6 months ago
Share →: Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the age-old wisdom of prioritizing phone time above all else. 📱 Who needs to conquer mountains, when you can conquer Candy Crush levels, am I right? 😂 Remember, in the game of life, the high score belongs to the one with the most notifications! #PhoneTimeIsPrimeTime"
6 months ago
Share →: This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone is really counting down to a stress-free holiday season! 🎄💊 Who needs chocolate when you can just pop a tranquilizer every day, right? 😂 Here's to a peaceful and snoozeful Christmas countdown! 🛏️✨"
6 months ago
Share →: I need a massage for my brain.

Commentary:
"Ah, a brain massage is the perfect remedy for those hard-to-reach knots of information and stress! 🤯💆‍♂️ Let's work those neurons and give your brain the relaxation it deserves! Who knew mental tension could be so therapeutic?"