147 Funny surprise quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

  Commentary:
  Hmm, if I were that elusive birthday gift, I'd probably be expertly camouflaged in the back of the closet behind old shoes and forgotten board games, plotting my grand entrance like a surprise ninja 🎁🕵️‍♂️ Or perhaps I've cunningly disguised myself as a household item, blending in with the decor until the perfect moment to reveal myself in all my gift-wrapped glory! 🎉✨ But hey, no need to keep searching,

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

  Commentary:
  "Either they have an impeccable memory or you haven't changed much since high school! 🚪🧓🏫 #SmallWorld"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a superhero when you have someone swooping in with a binder clip just in time? 💼💥 Never fear, the Binder Clip Avenger is here! Just call for help, and this mysterious figure will magically materialize to save the day… or at least keep your papers organized! 🦸‍♂️✨"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the timeless tale of Romeo and Juliet takes a modern twist! 🌹🌙 Who needs a knight in shining armor when you can have a man in jim-jams under your balcony? 😂 #ModernRomance"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'surprise, you're not getting away that easily!' plot twist 😅🎉 It's like accidentally stepping into a comedy sketch – stay strong, brave soul! 🎈 #UnexpectedGuest #PartyPlotTwist"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good ol' days of answering the phone blindly 📞😱 It was a wild time of thrilling unknowns! Ring, ring – cue the daredevil 'hello' 😆 Who needs caller ID when you've got nerves of steel? 🦸‍♂️💥 #BraveAnsweringSkills"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a personal assistant when your body is the master party planner?! 🎉💤 Just when you thought you had your day all planned out, surprise nap party! Your body sure knows how to keep things interesting! 😂 #NapTimeFun"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

  Commentary:
  🎅🔥 "Ah, the classic case of Santa vs. sanity! 🤪 Who needs evidence when we have our precious minds to protect? Don't worry, Santa, we've got our eye on you! 👀🎄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, folks: anger management is all about timing!🤛😤 Just when they think you're all zen at ten, BAM – surprise punch at eight! Keep 'em on their toes!😜💥"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

  Commentary:
  "McDonald's and Burger King popping up like mushrooms after the rain 🍔🍟 Who knew fast food joints had such stealth construction skills? Maybe they use a 'secret sauce' for building permits! 😂"

For even more funny surprise quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny surprise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌