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5 months ago
Share →: Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Commentary:
"Let's face it, finally freeing the ladies from bra captivity is truly a bra-tiful moment! 🙌🎉 Who needs a sunset when you have that glorious release at the end of the day? 😂 #FreeTheGirls"
5 months ago
Share →: My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Commentary:
"Well, looks like this therapist decided to hand you over like a hot potato 🥔🌶️ But hey, don't worry, group therapy can be like a stand-up comedy show with a touch of emotional support 🤝🎤🤣 So get ready to share the spotlight and spread some laughs… or tears 😅😭 #GroupTherapyJourney"
5 months ago
Share →: Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Commentary:
"Sorry, but this escape room is strictly for those with exit strategies… and well, let's just say I never got the memo on natural exits! 🚪😅 #CSectionSurvivor"
5 months ago
Share →: There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Commentary:
"Looks like avoiding a civil war comes down to practicality, not just fighting spirit! 💼💰 Who has time for battle when there's bills to pay and deadlines to meet? 😂 Let's settle our differences over coffee breaks instead, shall we? ☕️ #OfficeLifeWars"
5 months ago
Share →: I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Commentary:
"Blood pressure kits: when the struggle to fit everything back in that tiny zip-up bag becomes the real test of your cardiovascular endurance. 💼😂 #ZipItRealGood"
5 months ago
Share →: Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Commentary:
"Technically, it's not a holiday… but in the land of the free and the home of the brave, we have a right to take the fifth (of July)! 🇺🇸🎆 #IndependenceDayExtened #FreedomFriday"
5 months ago
Share →: The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Commentary:
📱🥪 "Watching some folks hold their cell phone to their ear is like witnessing a failed attempt at eating a digital sandwich! Maybe they're just hungry for a byte instead? 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Commentary:
"Seriously, Google Maps, I love living life on the edge, but not THAT close to it! 🚗💨 Better not turn left into chaos, thanks! 🙅‍♂️😂"
5 months ago
Share →: So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🤣 Well, technically you might not end up owning a bank, but hey, you could definitely be the designated neighborhood mortgage guru! 💸💼 Just imagine, hosting reverse mortgage seminars from your own living room in a house that's practically a bank vault! 🏦💰 Who knew homeownership could come with a side hustle! 😂 #MortgageMastermind
5 months ago
Share →: So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Commentary:
"Looks like it's the reptile's turn to slither into the spotlight! 🐍🦎 Time for a cold-blooded takeover! Sorry mammals, the scales have tipped in favor of the reptiles! 🦖 #RiseOfTheReptiles"