141 Funny take quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

  Commentary:
  "Raising toddlers: where every day is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and your last nerve is on the menu! 🤪🎢🍳 #ParentingStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

  Commentary:
  "Sometimes you just need to step away from the stupidity and enjoy the peace and quiet of your own company 🚶‍♂️💭. Who needs drama when you have the serenity of a solo stroll?"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the modern way to stargaze 🌌📱! Who needs constellations when you have YouTube, right? 🌟📺 #TechSavvyKids #StarryScreenTime"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, sharing is caring…unless we're talking about my illegal substances! Those are strictly for personal enjoyment only. 🙅‍♂️🚫 #FindersKeepersLosersWeepers"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the great outdoors: where the thrill of battling nature's elements meets the horror of enduring campfire renditions of 'Wonderwall' on repeat 🌲🐻🎸 #CampingDisasters"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the audacity of not being invited to events we didn't want to go to in the first place! 🙄 It's a true paradox – the perfect blend of FOMO and relief! 😂 Who says you can't have your cake and not eat it too? 🍰 #SelectiveSocializing"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic mid-life crisis decision! Who needs a fancy sports car when you can gracefully vault over walls and leap across rooftops, right? 🏃‍♂️💨 Just remember to stretch those creaky joints before attempting any daring stunts! 😅 #MidlifeParkourGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

  Commentary:
  "Optimism at its finest! 🙌 Watch out, gravity, we've got a cunning strategist over here! 😂 Who knew stair climbing could double as a risk management strategy? 🤔 Stay safe and keep reaching for the stars, one step at a time! 🌟🚶‍♂️ #SafetyFirst #WittyQuotes"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the remote control just became the most important utensil at this table! 📺🍴 Who needs to taste food when you can feast your eyes on some quality entertainment, right? Bon appétit and good luck with your TV menu selection! 😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle between punctuality and perfection! 🕰️⏳ Who has the time to be punctual when you're busy crafting greatness? 😄 Better late with flair than early and bland, am I right? ⏰🤷‍♂️"

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