160 Funny things quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

  Commentary:
  "True friendship is not just about sharing good times, but also ensuring that the bad decisions are made together! 🤪👯‍♂️ #PartnersInCrime #FriendshipGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

  Commentary:
  "If this logic holds, I must be on fire right now! 🔥 Who knew staying warm was the secret to avoiding those extra pounds! 😂🤷‍♂️ #HotGirlSummer #ExpandingMyHorizons"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic internal struggle between ambition and desire for a nap 😴💭. It's like having a go-getter and a sloth living inside the same body! 🤷‍♂️ #TheStruggleIsReal"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your son is blowing his own horn – literally! 🎺🎶 Embrace the sound of his musical journey this holiday season as he hits those high notes and occasional squeaks. It's a symphony of beauty and annoyance all wrapped up in one festive package! 🎄🎁 #HolidayHarmonies

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  5 months ago

  Share →: An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

  Commentary:
  🎉📋 Prepare yourselves for the most thrilling event of the weekend – an agenda reveal party! 🎉 Get ready to be amazed as I unveil my ambitious plans for the next few days – Netflix marathon, laundry mountain expedition, and the legendary battle against the ever-growing pile of dishes! 🍿🧺🍽️ Who needs fireworks when you have this level of excitement on the agenda? 😉 #AgendaRevealParty #WeekendGoals

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your horoscope is just as reliable as that jam-packed shopping list you had for the closed supermarket! 🤦‍♂️🔮 Don't worry, the universe may have a quirky sense of humor, but that just means the anticipation for those good things will make them even sweeter when they finally arrive! 🌟✨

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

  Commentary:
  "Online shopping: the ultimate act of self-love wrapped in a package! 🎁💁‍♂️ Who needs a significant other when you can spoil yourself with surprise gifts any time you want? 💳💻 #TreatYourself"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the great divide between professions! 💩 For nurses, loose stool is just another day at work, while for bartenders, it's a definite sign something went wrong with the cocktail recipe! 🍹😂 Just remember, context is everything in the world of bodily functions and mixed drinks! 🩺🍻

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

  Commentary:
  "Lost: several pens, countless papers, a little bit of sanity, and a handful of dreams. Reward: a stress ball and a well-deserved break. 🖊️📄😅💭 #WorkStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

  Commentary:
  "Me, every morning: Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things…or talk to people…or adult in any way, shape, or form. 😴☕️ #NotAMorningPerson"

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