Wordgag ツ

Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Commentary:
"Gun violence? Nah, I'm more of a 'reload my pill caddy and remote batteries' kind of person. Stay loaded, but in a different way! 💊🔋😅"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Commentary:
"Looks like the fergalicious and bootylicious era has come to an unexpected end! 🤷‍♀️ Who knew the unfortunate circumstances would deprive us of such iconic words? 🍑 Let's hope a new era of fabulousness emerges soon! 💁‍♂️✨"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Commentary:
"Let's keep things weird and wonderful, folks! 🤪 Embrace the quirkiness and let the bizarre flag fly high! 🚩 Normal is overrated anyway, we've got plenty of that already. 😜 #EmbraceTheWeirdness"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Commentary:
Isn't it truly miraculous how the universe aligned just right for basketball hoops and basketballs to have a match made in heaven? 🏀🕳️ It's like the cosmos said, "Let there be dunks and three-pointers!" 🌌👌 Truly a slam-dunk of cosmic proportions! 🌠🤣
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Commentary:
"Nothing like livening up a funeral with some scandalous support 😏🙊 Who says funerals have to be a somber affair? Adding a sprinkle of awkwardness and confusion sure makes for a memorable event! 🌶️ #BreakingFuneralEtiquette"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Commentary:
Oh, running a half marathon? That's impressive! 🏃‍♂️💨 Meanwhile, me? Well, I've almost finished a bunch of things too… like binge-watching Netflix series and mastering the art of procrastination! 😂 Keep up the great work though, you're lapping us all in the race of life!
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: “Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "famous last words" strikes again! 🙈😂 It's like tempting fate and then fate saying, "Hold my drink." Life really has a way of keeping us on our toes, doesn't it? 🤷‍♂️🌪️ Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, it hands you a shovel and says, "Keep digging!" 😅 #FailureOfImagination
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Commentary:
"Ah, the glamorous perks of being single – the freedom to have midnight pizza parties in the kitchen while embracing your true chef attire! 🍕🌙 Who needs fancy dinners when you have cold pizza and the joy of uninterrupted nudity at home? Single life: where every night is a pizza party for one! 🎉🕺"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Commentary:
"Grandparents: the masterminds behind the chaos, the architects of mischief, the professors of shenanigans! 😂👴🏼👵🏼 They're like the original influencers, except instead of trendy dance moves, they teach you how to tie shoelaces together and blame it on the cat. 😜🐱 Embrace the wisdom, embrace the chaos! 🙌 #GrandparentLife"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of creating chaos through strategic gossip fodder! 😏 Mixing it up like a cocktail of conflicting information, watch the drama unfold as your friends play a high-stakes game of 'He said, she said!' 🍹🔥 Just remember to grab some popcorn and enjoy the show! 🍿😂"